Someone hit George Will with the Idiot Stick

To be fair, Will thinks that the conclusions of this Pew Research Center study are suspect, but it doesn't really stop him from running with his crackpot theory.

Will's contention is that conservatives are happier because they are pessismists at heart.  Yep. I know that's a paradox (maybe even a contradiction?). Will knows it too. But, he's game:

Conservatives think the Book of Job got it right ("Man is born unto trouble as the sparks fly upward"), as did Adam Smith ("There is a great deal of ruin in a nation"). Conservatives understand that society in its complexity resembles a giant Calder mobile -- touch it here and things jiggle there, and there, and way over there. Hence conservatives acknowledge the Law of Unintended Consequences, which is: The unintended consequences of bold government undertakings are apt to be larger than, and contrary to, the intended ones.

Let me get this straight.  Conservatives believe the world is a cruel place, full of unjustifiable evil imposed on them by governments.  Is that what he is saying? Or, is he saying that the world is awash in evil.  And, if government tries to save you from some of that evil it will make things worse? Either way that is indeed a dark picture of humanity.  In fact, if I held such a view of the world I would want to just kill myself right now. Shit, this is darker than Camus.

Conservatives' pessimism is conducive to their happiness in three ways. First, they are rarely surprised -- they are right more often than not about the course of events. Second, when they are wrong, they are happy to be so. Third, because pessimistic conservatives put not their faith in princes -- government -- they accept that happiness is a function of fending for oneself. They believe that happiness is an activity -- it is inseparable from the pursuit of happiness.

(1) Expecting the worst=happiness.  That is a new twist on stoicism for you.  The Stoics didn't think that accepting suffering would make you happier, just free from pain.

(2) Conservatives are even happier when the worst doesn't happen.  They expect total disaster: billion dollar never-ending-war in Iraq, insane dictator from Iran looking for nuclear weapons, drunken V.P. shooting his buddy, United Arab Emirates operating our major ports, China keeping us financially afloat, ad nauseum .  When that sort of shit happens, they are happy since they saw it coming.  But, they are even happier when they don't wake up to Armageddon.

(3) Government doesn't guarantee your happiness. You have to go out there and earn it, damn it.  Pursue happiness! Lay waste to the environment, embezzle some corporate dough, get no-bid government contracts, help yourself to some K street money, buy lots of guns, don't forget that big Hummer.  Everyone knows that any government concerned with reducing health care costs, caring for the elderly and the young, protecting the environment, ensuring fair wages, or sexist and racist free environments is the stuff of misery.

Cross-Posted at MMF.

Comments

[coturnix]

Morose Morons.

[perianwyr]

And wait, the conservatives say that liberals are self-hating? Man.

[Daryl McCullough]

I don't think that George Will's comments are so ridiculous. Think of it this way: in judging how well things are going, there are two different "scales" to think about: (1) How are things going for you, personally? (2) How are things going for the world at large?

For many of us, the answer to (1) is: "Pretty good", while the answer to (2) is: "Lousy". Now, if you've given up on making the world a better place (as most conservatives such as George Will have), then you are beyond being bothered by the sorry state of the world. So if your personal life is doing fine, why not be happy?

So what he's really saying is that if you only care about yourself (and your family and friends), then it's a lot easier to feel successful.

[gordo]

Will is using a finding that conservatives are pessimistic as evidence that they're more apt to see the complexity of the world. The fact is, though, that he pulls this conclusion directly from his colon. The finding implies no such thing, even if one accepts the validity of the study.

It's not the liberals who think that we can create a moral society by making abortion and gay marriage illegal, and it's not liberals who fail to foresee unintended consequences when schools limit access to birth control information and condoms.

Will wants to believe that conservatives are better able to engage in complex thought, so he draws this conclusion from an unrelated study. He doesn't like to think that conservatives are pessimists, so he casts doubts on the conclusions of that very same study.

[aspazia]

Daryl

"So what he's really saying is that if you only care about yourself (and your family and friends), then it's a lot easier to feel successful."

Except that isn't what he couldn't quite bring himself to say. I do not doubt that your take on the selfish and pessismistic worldview of conservatives is the best explanation for why they are happier (e.g. shallower) than liberals. But, Will cleverly obfuscate that point.

[aspazia]

gordo--

"Will wants to believe that conservatives are better able to engage in complex thought, so he draws this conclusion from an unrelated study. He doesn't like to think that conservatives are pessimists, so he casts doubts on the conclusions of that very same study."

You are absolutely right (why didn't I think of this) that Will is trying to disengenuously make the conservatives look like the complex thinkers. Ugh. What fine nonsense he has strung together here.

[Ginger Yellow]

"First, they are rarely surprised -- they are right more often than not about the course of events."

Hahahahahahahaha.

"Second, when they are wrong, they are happy to be so."
Yeah, Bill O'Reilly oozes happiness.

"Third, because pessimistic conservatives put not their faith in princes"
Unless they are called Nixon, Reagan or Bush. Or Tony Blair. Or Ahmed Chalabi.

[Matt McIrvin]

That John Derbyshire is a cheerful man.

[mudkitty]

Someone hit George Will with the idiot stick a long, long time ago.

[1984 Was Not a Shopping List]

It's not the liberals who think that we can create a moral society by making abortion and gay marriage illegal, and it's not liberals who fail to foresee unintended consequences when schools limit access to birth control information and condoms.

Hear, hear. Since Lindsay is in Amsterdam, we might mention that the Dutch, who teach contraception as an option for the sexually active--which most teens will eventually be, no matter how much people frown about it--have like a tenth of our teen pregnancy rate. Wrong and happy to be so? Don't make me laugh--little-mister-can't-be-wrong and happy to be so.

And besides the constant tongue-clucking about how other people shouldn't have a sex life, the inherent contradiction between conservatism, supposedly a small-government movement by definition, constantly ballooning the military budget to dwarf that of the whole EU, or almost any other government you can name. Besides which, the idea that government cannot and should not spend your money on wisely-run programs is belied by the FEMA of years past (though not the present FEMA).

[herbert browne]

Re .." conservatives are happier because they are pessimists.."- close.
Conservatives are happier because they are Pessaries.
^..^

[Mike Nilsen]

Will's mindset is such that he confuses the term 'conservative' with 'intelligent'. He associates all the desirable qualities of intellect with conservativism because of his innate bias.

[Alexander Wolfe]

I'd have to agree with the general gist of the comments here. If conservatives are happier in the most general sense, than it is because in the most general sense, they are unconcerned with the troubles of others and the world in general. I have a feeling that when the ice caps have melted, they will share in the unhappiness with liberals about equally.

[Mister Nice Guy]

Did you notice that Will starts out saying that conservatives are happy because they are always aware of the possible unintended consequences of their actions, and finishes by saying liberal drive themselves mad worrying about the possible unintended consequences of their actions?

[JR]

Will' point is simple. Conservatives believe that misery is the lot of humanity. So they don't take the suffering of others to heart. Their philosophy is, "I've got mine." This is a reasonable attitude- you wonder how anyone could reconcile it with Christianity, but hey, hypocrisy is no bar to happiness.