Custody dilemma: Visitation for incarcerated parents

Trish Wilson is outraged that an Indiana rape victim has to take her kids to visit her attacker (their dad) in prison. Trish writes:

The man who attacked and raped her is the father of her children. The judge in her case didn't care that this man had attacked and raped her. He ordered that, as Linetty's children's father, he deserves his precious visitation. Now Linetty is forced to take her children to the prison were her attacker and rapist is being housed. She has to see her attacker because the judge decided that fathers' rights trumps attack and rape.

Fathers' rights activists of course think that the children should see their father in jail.

Fathers' rights activist Jeffrey Leving said, "The court has determined that it is in the best interest of the children that they visit their father. In part, it's about the right of fathers, but the real focus is children's rights."

Oh, spare me. It's in the children's best interests to be forced to see a father who, as Linetty describes it, has shown little interest in them up until this time? It's in their best interests for them to have contact with the man who attacked and raped their mother?

I see this case as very sad, but not outrageous. Incarcerated parents should have visitation rights unless the authorities decide that visitation would be harmful in a particular case. We may question the judge's decision in the Linetty case. I have to wonder whether it's good for children to visit a dad who's doing time for raping their mom. But as long as the court believes that visits serve the best interests of the children, then the dad has a right to see his kids.

I feel for Linetty. She shouldn't have to escort her children to the prison and face her attacker. The Indiana courts should arrange for a case worker to take the kids to visit their dad instead of inflicting additional trauma on his victim.

Comments

[Fitz]

This is a tuff one. I agree with Lindsay’s analysis on the legality and rights issue. The best moral out for all involved (I believe) would be if the women found a loving husband & father. He might then apply for adoption of the children, giving them a more honorable role model. The natural father should sign off on this, or perhaps the court could order it in the best interest of the children. When they reach the age of majority, they would be free to make contact and develop a relationship with their natural father.

[Eli]

I find it really odd that the article focuses heavily on the question of the rights of incarcerated parents. Of course incarcerated parents have some qualified baseline parental rights. The question is of exactly what you point out - the rights of a parent who has been violently abusive of the custodial parent.

[Lindsay Beyerstein]

I don't think an abused custodial parent should have special discretion about whether the kids visit the abuser in prison. Presumably, the father's record and the potential psychological impact on the children were already taken into account when the court decided to allow visits.

The most important thing is to make sure that the woman doesn't have to go with the kids to the jail and face her rapist every week.

[Ole Blue]

By alowing the childrens father vistation the courts basically OK their father's behavior, despite the fact he is incarcerated.

[Tom Hilton]

I think you're absolutely right, Lindsay. The bad part of this isn't the kids seeing their father; it's their mother having to see him. They should have a caseworker bring them to visit him.

By alowing the childrens father vistation the courts basically OK their father's behavior, despite the fact he is incarcerated.

By that logic, no incarcerated parents should ever have visitation rights--because it would 'basically OK their' behavior.

[The Countess]

I have mixed feelings about whether or not children should visit their moms and dads in jail. I don't think that prison is a place for children, but I know that incarcerated moms and dads do have a right to see their children. There are some prison programs that help with visitation issues.

My main issue is that the father had attacked and raped the mother, and that is why he is in jail. The children know that their father had hurt their mother, and they know that is why he is in jail. They don't know the details. One child has already written to the judge to say she didn't want to see dad in jail. Another child hasn't said anything about wanting to visit daddy. The third child is in counseling to cope with the whole ordeal. In this particular case, I don't think that it's appropriate for these children to see their father, let alone have the mother take them to see him. Yes, the mother could hire a third party to take the children, but the judge has not taken the attack and rape into consideration. The children's welfare needs to be taken into account, and they are not doing well in the aftermath of their mother's attack and rape.

[Eli]

I don't know the logistics of this, but the mother probably won't need to see him to make this work. That's one of a couple ways where imprisonment actually makes the father's case considerably stronger because he's in prison. Even more important than the ability to do a contact-free handoff is the fact that he doesn't pose a kidnapping risk from prison. It's fairly common for an abusive former mate to refuse to comply with the details of visitation agreements as a way of trying to goad the abused parent into reinitiating contact. Obviously, that's not a significant option from jaim.

I'm still baffled by the article. Is there some big controversy over parental visitation in prison that I'm not aware of? The rights that you lose when you're convicted of a specfic crime are laid out pretty clearly most of the time - voting, gun ownership, etc., depending on the offense. His parental rights weren't forfeited under the law, so the incarceration isn't an issue to any extent beyond being part of the general parcel of pragmatic concerns that the court is authorized to consider. So why all the headlines about the incarceration? Is it just that people in prison are way extra icky or what?

[markg]

Hey, OJ got CUSTODY of his kids after murdering their mother, and on that scale visitation after raping the kid's mother doesn't seem so bad. Seriously, in the jurisdiction where I've practiced family law it's all about the kids. Our laws do not recognize a parental right to have or deny visitation, and instead provide that "a child is entitled to periods of [visitation] with [a parent] unless...the court finds that [visitation] with a parent would endanger the child's physical, mental or emotional health." Assuming Indiana has a similar standard, there is no one here with enough facts to second guess the judge's application of that kind of balancing test here. Just remember not to get hung up on the father's or the mother's "rights," and maintain focus on the kids.

[Patrick]

The case worker is probably available somehow. I don't know about jail specifically, but in my area, there are so many ways for custody exchanges and visitation to be handled without contact between the parents that I can't believe there isn't an option available for visitation with an incarcerated parent. The woman in the article doesn't live in my area, but there's probably something.

[Cass]

I agree with those who say the needs of the children should be paramount here (and of course, the mother should not under any circumstances have to visit the prison herself). On the other hand, as someone who works in the domestic violence field, it seems to me that most judges believe the most atrocious and abusive father is better than no father at all. Given the apparent level of abuse here (and what it reveals about the abuser), I'd be a little surprised if this man wasn't in some way trying to use his children to get back at his ex-wife... telling them that their b**ch of a mother is responsible for Daddy being in jail, for instance, or for the fact that they all can't be one happy family. And while these kind of mind-games aren't technically child abuse in most areas, they can certainly do just as much damage.

[Lauren]

As a case worker, I'm finding that money is a problem in cases like these. Unless this woman is dead-ass broke -- or the court arranges something for her if she is broke -- she's going to have to pay out of pocket for a case worker to take her kids to the prison. On a sliding scale fee, the lowest amount we offer for case management services is $10 an hour. You wouldn't believe how this adds up over time.

Nevertheless, it isn't just so simple as to "arrange for a case worker." No person should be required to pay to have their kids taken to see their rapist.

[Lindsay Beyerstein]

Good points, Lauren. Maybe some progressive-minded Indiana legislator would be willing to sponsor a bill mandating that that the state pick up the tab for casework under these circumstances. If the dad has any money at all, he should have to contribute as well. Let him prove that he really wants to see his kids by chipping in some of his commissary money for an escort.

If he actually did contribute, I'd be impressed and much more favorably disposed towards the idea of him seeing the kids at all. It's one thing to ask other people to deliver your kids to you in jail at no cost to you, it's quite another to be willing to work hard to make it possible. It would be way for him to acknowledge that he caused his victim so much pain that she can't even be expect to see him.

[Lanoire]

Lindsey, this has nothing to do with the rights of "incarcerated parents," as your title misleadingly says. It has to do with the rights of rapists and rape victims.

The mother is the primary caregiver in this case. How can anyone argue that it's in the best interests of a child to have a primary caregiver who's in emotional torment, who is suffering the anguish and indignation that comes from having her children be forced to visit a man who tortured and violated her? How can the emotional pain of a woman in that situation not affect her children?

And the "best interest of the child" should not be the only factor taken into account when it comes to child custody. Arguably, I could gather facts and statistics proving that it's in the "best interest" of the child to be taken away from the mother altogether, because a rape victim might be too emotionally traumatized to be a good parent. I bet I could gather statistics to support the idea that raising a kid in a conservative and repressive religion is not in his or her best interests, and so evangelical Christians should have their kids taken away. But we can't do this because the rights of the parents are also important. The personhood of the parents is important. And it's a gross insult to this woman's personhood to have her flesh and blood be forced to visit her rapist.

The father has no rights to speak of in this situation. If you become a father through rape, you should have no rights over your kids.

[somecat]

This may be tough in the abstract, where we can picture a violent rape as a single discrete crime detached from being an authoritarian short-fuse narcissistic jerk, but in real life I don't see how this is going to benefit the children. See their rapist Dad in jail? So he can fill their heads with whatever self-serving rationalizations he's managed to come up with? So they can blame their mother for putting Daddy in jail? It's the mom who will have to deal with the results of these visits -- the emotional and practical and even financial disruptions. Sorry, kids, you can't sleepover at Grandma's -- you have to visit your Dad, who raped me, in prison! She is already supporting the kids on her own I assume, I'd say that man has put her through enough.
Do we know that the kids even want to see their father?

[Lindsay Beyerstein]

The oldest child categorically does not want to see her dad. She wrote a letter to the judge asking not to be forced to go. The other kids haven't expressed a preference yet. I think the kids' wishes should be respected. If they don't want to go, that's fine. However, for whatever reason, they were to change their minds, I think they ought to be able to visit their Dad.

I'm old fashioned. I think that prison should be at least partly about rehabilitation. Inmates shouldn't be banished completely until they're dumped out on the street again. Wherever possible, they should be encouraged to maintain relationships with their families.

[belledame222]

I'm with somecat. Mostly, I am wondering whether in fact the kids' wishes are even ever a factor in cases like this. It seems to me that they damn well should be.

[belledame222]

As per rehab: ehhm. I don't know. Look, I certainly agree that if Dad were in jail for something like drugs or even armed robbery, there'd be no question that it'd be appropriate to try to maintain the relationship. But he raped their mother. It's not like rehab's never appropriate, but I am really leery of the notion that mandated further contact with the people you abused (because frankly I see the kdis as being abused here, too) should be part of that rehabilitation. And I do also believe that some people never stop being abusers. I do think you lose certain rights for that kind of abuse, yes; and I do think that it probably does more harm than good to keep up the pretense that Dad's just this loving Dad who did a bad thing and is really sorry about it, kids.

[Lanoire]

However, for whatever reason, they were to change their minds, I think they ought to be able to visit their Dad.

I'm old fashioned. I think that prison should be at least partly about rehabilitation. Inmates shouldn't be banished completely until they're dumped out on the street again. Wherever possible, they should be encouraged to maintain relationships with their families.

I agree. Even for rapists. Hell, especially for rapists.

If the kids chose to visit him, I'd have no problem with this. It's the court mandating it that bugs me.

It's not like rehab's never appropriate, but I am really leery of the notion that mandated further contact with the people you abused (because frankly I see the kdis as being abused here, too) should be part of that rehabilitation.

It's the mandated part that's the key here. I think contact with your victims could be very helpful for rehabilitation, to understand exactly what you did and why it was wrong. But no one should be forced into this.

[The Phantom]

--We may question the judge's decision in the Linetty case.--

Yeah, we might.

[Amy Lindsey]

I am also a victim of a rape by my son's father. I am sick of hearing about his rights as a father. I also should have rights as a victim. He had absolutely no thought about how his action's would affect our son and therefore has put our son in a bad situation. I am sick of these men using our children in order to get access to us. When you are in jail I feel you should have no civil rights at all. Is prison just a place that they can live for free and still get all the privledges that we have as law abiding citizens?