Fossils are Winners: Official Fossil Endorsements
The results are in. We now have a full slate of official fossils for states that currently lack them. The next step is to craft ballot initiatives, get them on the ballot, and watch the Democratic votes roll in 2006!
1. Texas, the humble trilobite. First nominated by John Lucid and seconded by many others. The trilobite is not as progressive as the first runner-up Quetzalcoatlus, but I think he's more electable. Norbizness suggested a fern, but ferns don't do well on TV. Try putting a fern on your TV, see how well it does.
2. Hawaii, the giant flightless turtle-billed dabbling duck, Moa-nalo, nominated by rewolfrats. First runner-up, Don Ho.
3. Kansas, fossil fish Xiphactinus audax. The ballot initiative will include language required the state to accept a Kansans gift of an audax fossil, valued at $10 million.
5. New Hampshire, instant runoff voting. Readers, choose from among the 52 fossils ever found in New Hampshire.
6. South Carolina, the giant sloth. Look at the claws on this mofo. People who don't even believe in evolution will vote for the sloth, just because they want to be part of the brand. Suggested by coturnix.
7. North Carolina, archaeopteryx. North Carolinians will go to the polls to take archaeopteryx away from South Carolina. Also due to coturnix.
8. Rhode Island, more instant runoff voting. Browse the 144 fossils ever found in Rhode Island, and cast your ballots.
9. Arkansas, Mimulus perversus. I don't know what it is, but it sounds dirty. Perfect.
Winners get the opportunity to collect signatures for their favorite fossil at a precinct near them!