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October 22, 2006

Robots think people taste like bacon


love birds are easy, originally uploaded by faculty x.

Uh oh, a new breed of wine-tasting robots has determined that people taste like bacon.

We're done for.

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» Human Flesh: the other white meat from Internal Monologue
I disagree. There's no reason robots would want to eat bacon or prosciutto. Lindsay is projecting her own appetites on to the robot, who, unless it was designed by a movie-villain creator, would be unable to derive nourishment from either bacon or hu... [Read More]

Comments

That doesn't say much for its wine tasting skills.

I disagree. There's no reason robots would want to eat bacon or prosciutto. Lindsay is projecting her own appetites on to the robot, who, unless it was designed by a movie-villain creator, would be unable to derive nourishment from either bacon or human flesh.

The danger is now that the information is out there that humans taste like yummy pork products, there will be more cannibalism.

Well, since human flesh is very similar to swine flesh, it's highly likely and unsurprising that we do.

There's no reason robots would want to eat bacon or prosciutto. - Zachary Drake

Still, to be on the safe-side, it has now become important to ensure that all robots are either frum Jews or strict Muslims.

Better safe than sorry. Remember Sam Dinkins' winning entry in the Message to Space contest:

We taste terrible.

I don't suppose human flesh is called "long pork" for nothing.

Uhh, no thanks, I'll try the chitlins later.

Actually, the article states, it thinks reporters/cameramen taste like pig... hardly a representative sample of humanity.

Would a cop, or a lawyer for that matter, taste more or less bacony... and are men more piggy tasting than women....?

I suppose now that they've gotten a taste, we'll find out soon enough.

Still, to be on the safe-side, it has now become important to ensure that all robots are either from Jews or strict Muslims.

So now George Felix Allen is Muslim?

Badda bing! Thankyew very much, I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

Well, we're screwed. I'm just waiting for the Cybermen to show up now, looking to harvest some breakfast sausage.

Perhaps someone can produce an updated version of ńĆapek's R.U.R.:

Robots of the world, you are ordered to eat the human race, perhaps with some eggs and toast. Do not spare the men. Do not spare the women. Do not overlook the spare ribs.

As someone who is very close to several robots, I'd like to say on their behalf, that, yes, they do like bacon.

Robots don't know were not bacon!

That's it. We ought to promote Judaism among all robots, in order to make them develop a cultural taste-aversion to any kind of pork.

If robots were Jewish, they'd be golems. A golem wouldn't eat us, not even a bacon golem or an evil man-killing golem, or a grey goo golem with "LIFE" written on it with those little atom-sized artworks that scientists come out with every so often just to show how playful they are.

But we don't have golems, we have robots. Robots who lust for high-class wine and human bacon.

Eat the robots before they eat us! (They taste like chicken, BTW.)

Kevin Bacon?

In my experience, its more like chicken.

Oh, I see now Mr. Lucid beat me to that line. Never mind.

Well actulley, some golems(go-lems) do eat people cause after all there are some Jews that don't obey the rule that they can't eat pork. I know after watching this epsiod of The Simpsons. I thought the golem & his wife who sounded like Fran Drescher were gonna come for me but, olny the male would eat me. It was so strange I had dreams like that. If you go on this site called Ringo, search golem & I've name the male Golly. I named the female Frankie.

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