Doctor Brooks' Moderate Snakeoil

I watched David Brooks' play-by-play last night on PBS. I'm amazed that David Brooks manages to pass himself off as a moderate. Brooks was still working the one-liners from the New York Times column he'd published earlier that day. "The Democrats need a designated driver..." Americans aren't ideological, Brooks insisted. They hate partisanship. All they want is integrity and conviction.

Brooks sneered at Ted Kennedy, describing him as one of the greatest Republican fundraisers of all time. Co-host Mark Shields noted that Kennedy has been one of the most effective bipartisan legislators in recent history. Brooks snarked on.

Earlier in the day, Brooks had compared John Kerry to Castro:

Every time he'd launch into another Castroite soliloquy - on the history of the Middle East or the pay structure of the civil service - the audience would groan. I sat there listening to this drone, thinking, "If this man becomes president, I have to stop being a pundit because I know nothing about politics." [Emphasis.]

The "designated driver" line that came off nicely on TV was appeared in a much nastier passage:

I also didn't sense that the Democratic Party is just sober enough to realize it needs a designated driver like John Kerry to get it home at night. This is a whacked-out party that has spent the past year throwing back Howard Dean hurricanes, being gripped with Michael Moore fever and indulging in Whoopi-esque animosity binges.

.

This is the column in which Brooks promised to quite his job if Kerry wins the next elections:

I sat there listening to this drone, thinking, "If this man becomes president, I have to stop being a pundit because I know nothing about politics."

Unfortunately, his nerve failed before the final paragraph:

Either way, if he wins, I'm not quitting my job. In this age of Kerry, I'm flip-flopping on that one.