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April 09, 2005

Ohio: Portfolio sneak peek

Screw US Treasury Bills, it's not like they're real or anything. The smart money's in collectibles. Take your cue from the great state of Ohio and invest in rare coins.

Invariably, some people miss the boat...

"I don't think I'd be excited to invest in rare coins," Vermont Treasurer Mike Ablowich said. "It's a little unusual." [Toledo Blade]

... but you'll be laughing all the way to the bank with these insider's tips from the hot shot analysts at the Ohio State Bureau of Worker's Compensation:

Buy:
Plate_penn_ohio_2

Heads, I win; Tails, you lose. Classy, sexy, lucky, and handy for settling disputed elections.

Sell:
Bill of Rights 6-coin proof. Highly over-valued. Depreciating rapidly.

Hold:
Iraqi Freedom coin set. Hang on to these, they may be worth something some day. For long term investors only.

Of course, it's important to diversify your portfolio. That's why Ohio is branching out into collectible plates:

Buy:
Bozo_plate_2

The Creation. Backed by the full faith and credit of the Old Testament. Includes certificate of authenticity.

Patriotic turkey race. A blue chip commemorative plate since 1910.

Dolphins from God. A truly miraculous investment opportunity.

Sell:
Barbie Moon Goddess. Glittery, but pagan.

Hold:
Demand's flat now, but Jeb will soon drive the manatees extinct, sending the commemorative plate market sky high.

Advanced Investing Tips
Sophisticated investors may wish investigate the wealth-generating potential of shotglass futures, Precious Moments options, and NASCAR derivatives.

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Comments

1940-1990? Bozo is dead? And such a young clown...

I've been waiting for this moemtn for lo these many years ...

Pogs! "Collectible" pogs! I got 'em, does some State want 'em? Remember, if You, oh Glorious State, invest in these cute 'n' collectible circles of cardboard, why then, the market for them will undoubtedly rise, and a Trend will ensue.

This post is right up there with some of fafblogs. One of the most amusing things I've read all weekend.

Fun for mobile. mobile melodies, pictures, realtones, games, themes, 3gp video, Java-games, java-programs.

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