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June 06, 2005

The nubs of the issue

Echidne points to an article in the Ottawa Citizen: Nipple-negating technology declares war on female breasts.

When I read the headline, I was afraid I was about to hear about a plastic surgery trend. Thankfully, the nipple negation is digital.

Enough about female nipples. This is a question I've been meaning to put to the collective hivemind for some time.

I'm a big fan of Chappelle's Show. In season 2, there are a couple of shots of men stimulating their own nipples as a form of public sexual display. For example, in the everything looks better in slow motion sketch, the slo-mo reveals Dave rubbing his nipple as part of his "sexy laundry" sequence.

As I recall, the Chappelle nipple play shows up in parodies of hip hop videos. I'm not familiar with that genre. I have no idea whether this is a running gag unique to Chappelle, or whether hip hop videos actually show men carressing their own nipples, or what.

I wish Paul Mooney was still doing "Ask a Black Dude" because I really want to know: "Do het black men have fewer hangups about playing with their own nipples than their white counterparts? Or is that just wishful thinking?"


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» The Answer from Pandagon
First, there isn't much nipple play in rap videos, and I'd imagine Dave Chappelle has fewer hangups about everything, not just nipple play. It is a frequent comedic prop in conversations with my male friends, though. Serious nipple play? They're... [Read More]

» Things I Have In Common With Black Guys from A Beautiful Soul
That got me to thinking about my own frequent public displays of nipple tweaking. And that got me thinking about the things I have in common with black people. So I [Read More]

» Attack of the killer nipples from It's Recess-time Somewhere
via Majikthise, we have an intriguing article on the evils of nipples and the technology used to get rid of them....Oh my God! Save us from the nipples!!!! Help!! Grab the kids! They're coming to get us! What ever will we do?....If our culture here i... [Read More]


I'll never forget riding the Millenium rollercoaster at Cedar Point a couple of years ago and then checking out the pictures at the end of the ride. One picture showed a clever pair of punky looking guys, one lifting his shirt with an ecstatic look on his face while the other tweaked his nipple. Laughed my ass off.

Male nipples seem to be a lot like female G spots evolutionarily speaking. Both seem to be a sort of spandrel or accident of evolution, which is just an unavoidable consequence of needing a piece of anatomy in the other sex and needing to produce both sexes from a single body plan.

I'm not much into nipple plays. I prefer nipple operas and ballets.

I have a problem with overly sensitive nipples. It started when I let a woman play with them. I wish I never let her do that. Now I have overly sensitive and enlarged nipples. This has led to social ostracization, poor work performance, and sex addiction. Guys out there: if anybody touches your nipples tell them to get the hell away from you and never talk to that person again. It is really hell to go through life like this. Thanks for the topic.

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