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July 20, 2005

Female pandas love porn

Sex films help panda get pregnant

Hua Mei, who was born in the US but moved to China in February, was shown the videos as preparation for a series of "blind dates", the China Daily said.

The female was shown the videos because experts feared she had little knowledge of mating after living in captivity. [BBC]

It's a very small study, but I bet it's representative of grrl pandas--because they are notoriously insatiable.


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» Of course pandas are porn liberals from Pandagon
From Lindsay, to the surprise of exactly no one, it turns out that female pandas get in the mood by watching panda porn. Female pandas who are trying to do so are, unlike humans, an endangered species and as such... [Read More]


Sex ed clearly does aid promiscuity; shouldn't we be showing these young, easily influenced panda gals how to say "No" to peer pressure? ("Everyone's doin' it Hua Mei." "The zoo keepers said it was alright." "Sure I luv ya. I'll stay with you forever...or until they move me back to my cage.") The "Focus on the Panda Family" group is really dropping the ball on this one. Sheesh.

You've got the female panda's number. To be fair, pandas prefer to call it "couple's" videos.

The male panda became confused when Hua Mei insisted on licking his genitals before coitus. As the coupling began, Hua Mei immediately began screeching loudly, and insisted on changing positions several times. Hua Mei seemed quite disappointed when the male climaxed inside of her, rather than pulling out and cumming on her ass. In unrelated news, Hua Mei expressed interest in attending an upcoming Republican gathering, and exploring a run for California governor.

Dear Ask Amanda:

Yeah, they have a rep for being animals in bed, but all she wanted to do was cuddle. Am I too nice a guy, Amanda?

I don't know about this one Lindsay. I read the link on the Panda chase and from the male perspective it was business as usual.

The female Panda went into the city for a night on the town and winds up playing hard to get by climbing a tree. Hmmmph!

Pandas rarely breed in captivity.

Maybe they are upset by all the voyeurs. They get more attention than Brad and Angelina.

You've got the female panda's number.

Who hoo! I bet she's on IM, too. Back off Epi, this one's mine.

Who hoo! I bet she's on IM, too. Back off Epi, this one's mine.

LindsayB: 'sup?
I8Bambu: eating some bamboo
LindsayB: 'kay, cool
I8Bambu: eating more bamboo now. yum
LindsayB: so, wanna hook up?
I8Bambu: BRB
LindsayB: ...
LindsayB: you still there?
I8Bambu: sorry. stupid male panda
LindsayB: No prob
I8Bambu: wanted to talk to me
LindsayB: LOL
I8Bambu: he always wants to mate
LindsayB: uh-huh
I8Bambu: but he sucks at it.
LindsayB: yeah, figures.
I8Bambu: hate the pig
LindsayB: heh
I8Bambu: so cn I ask you a ?
LindsayB: sure go ahead
I8Bambu: are you that NYC blogger Lindsay?


Seriously, you're going to have to stop with this stuff, because my stomach hurts from laughing.

Orange juice on monitor. Thanks for the laugh.


This is fucked

for love

I guess pandas have a hard time getting pregnant! I type pandas love into google and this site is the second site I get. Guess which is the second site? My site! Lots of cute panda photos, my little collection! -Jeff

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