What kind of humanist are you?

Best online quiz ever, via Feministe:

Hairshirt

Excuse us, could you just put down that hammer for a minute and listen. You’re so busy getting things done you rarely take any time out just to relax. In fact, you’ve probably forgotten how to relax. That’s because you’re so anxious to prove that it’s possible to lead a good and moral life without religion that you have built a strict and forbidding creed all of your own.

You keep a compost heap, cycle to the bottle bank, invest in ethical schemes only and the list of countries you won’t buy from is longer than the washing line for your baby’s towelling nappies. You admire uncompromising self–sacrificers like Aung San Suu Kyi and Che Guevara, and would have liked the chance to be incarcerated for your principles like Diderot or Nelson Mandela.

You would never cheat on your partner, drink and drive, accept bribes or touch drugs. You never waste money though you give lots to charity. Living a good life? You’re a model to us all. But it wouldn’t hurt you to try a little happiness once in a while. Loosen up.

What kind of humanist are you? Click here to find out.

I can't believe The New Humanist just told me to lighten up.

Comments

[Squashed Lemon]

The brit doesn't know a thing about me. feh...

what's a handholder. I demand recount.

http://www.newhumanist.org.uk/images/0409/handholding.jpg

You go out of your way to build bridges with people of different views and beliefs and have quite a few religious friends. You believe in the essential goodness of people , which means you’re always looking for common ground even if that entails compromises. You would defend Salman Rushdie’s right to criticise Islam but you’re sorry he attacked it so viciously, just as you feel uncomfortable with some of the more outspoken and unkind views of religion in the pages of this magazine.

You prefer the inclusive approach of writers like Zadie Smith or the radical Christian values of Edward Said. Don’t fall into the same trap as super–naïve Lib Dem MP Jenny Tonge who declared it was okay for clerics like Yusuf al–Qaradawi to justify their monstrous prejudices as a legitimate interpretation of the Koran: a perfect example of how the will to understand can mean the sacrifice of fundamental principles. Sometimes, you just have to hold out for what you know is right even if it hurts someone’s feelings.

[Left_Wing_Fox]

Huh, I came out as the opposite, The Haymaker:

"You are one of life’s enjoyers, determined to get the most you can out of your brief spell on Earth. Probably what first attracted you to atheism was the prospect of liberation from the Ten Commandments, few of which are compatible with a life of pleasure. You play hard and work quite hard, have a strong sense of loyalty and a relaxed but consistent approach to your philosophy."

While I disagree with the level of frivolity it ascribes to my lifestyle (I do feel that I would lay down my life for a concept, I have to admit it may just be correct about it. Not too fond of Marlon Brando though.

However, they didn't have my preferred choice of burial: Donate my organs, throw my remains in a burlap sack and plant an oak tree over me: I want to be recycled.

[dan]

A handholder? Hmm, not at all. I've read my Stanley Fish.

I think I was screwed up by the question about the perfect garden. There was no answer along the lines of "why in the hell would I want a garden?"

[John Stith]

I myself am a handholder, although I agree with Dan about the garden. I'm putting together an LOTR room. Does that count?

Anyway, it is interesting that I've consider myself a humanist but I also believe in the divine creator. I supppose it's tough growing up in the Bible belt and not be influenced somewhat. I'm reading Jimmy Carter's new book. I got to give him credit though. You've got to be good to witness to Deng Xiopeng.

[togolosh]

Another handholder. Apparently Lindsay's blog attracts pansies.

They didn't have my preferred burial either: Transplant all usable organs and dump the rest in a pit with a fruit tree planted on top. Post a sign inviting passers by to eat the fruit (we handholders are really into that whole circle of life thing). Alternatively, I'd go for plastinating my body and incorporating it into a piece of art, preferrably a blasphemous one.

How do you have to answer to get the hairshirt?

[John Stith]

Actually, I believe my wife said she's going to get me taxidermied in a menacing pose and put next to the door. But then she did say the quickest way to a man's heart is through his back. Live and Learn.

[Eli]

I'm a Haymaker! Hooray for fun me.

[Julian Elson]

I tried it a few times. I dunno... I don't really like the quiz, and I got different answers a few times, but I got hardhat. I checked the answers, and it turns out that making my kid a cool devil costume is a hardhat thing to do, not a haymaker thing to do!

I want my body sans usable organs rendered into a variety of useful tallow, meat, and leather products that would be distributed to my family and friends at my memorial! I would make a GREAT set of lavender-scented soaps, I tell you. A few good lampshades too!

[John]

I came up with a "Hairshirt" profile, though I can't really see it. I chose the Galapagos vacation, not the Spartan croft. I chose the stone and pebble garden mainly because it requires no work (I'm not into gardening.) And I am awed at the spiritual power of Medieval cathedral architecture, not disgusted by its vulgar excesses. I don't see how these responses indicate that I am a hairshirt, but the quiz has spoken. It's entertaining, but no more useful than a Cosmo quiz.

[Alon Levy]

I'm a hardhat, but I think this quiz is bunk for several reasons. For one, of the people it listed as my heroes - Marx, Einstein, Darwin, Gould, and the discoverers of the double helix structure - only Einstein can really be considered a hero of mine; the rest of the people I hold in high esteem are political activists and renowned atheists rather than scientists.

[Battlepanda]

The question about the gardens...that is so wonderfully English..."show me how you garden and I will tell you who you are." Do you prefer an ascetic pebble yard at one with nature or a extravagant herbaceous border?

[Lindsay Beyerstein]

John, if your post-life plans include taxidermy, these guys are http://www.roguetaxidermy.com/index.php>the bomb.

[Anna in Cairo]

Although I practice a religion and therefore really should not take the quiz at all, I tried to answer all the qustions as truthfully as I could (and as a Muslim I thought the best answer to the kid's school Christmas pageant was the holiday in Dubai) and I ended up being a haymaker. How weird! Well, I will pass this to my atheist dad and his wife and see what their results are.

[dan]

Hey, I made it to hairshirt! Obvious proof of my lifelong contention that I'm much, much grumpier in the morning.

[rob helpy-chalk]

I was a haymaker. I had no idea I was such a sybarite!

I suppose part of the problem is that, although I am an athiest, I am not a humanist, because it sounds so mean to animals. Even their question about gardens was all about ways humans can dominate nature.

I'd call myself a sentientist, but it's such an ugly word. Anyone know a better one?

[John Emerson]

I ended up with what PZ Meyers did: "hardhat". I must have misanswered a few because I'm slightly more accommodating that PZ.

Personally I think that Lindsey should have a few beers and cheat on her partner occasionally. I have only her own best intersts at heart when I say this.

[comandante agi t. prop]

What do you know, I'm a Hairshirt too.

[theogon]

O dear. Depending on my answers I'm either a hairshirt or handholder. Not too much diversity here.

[John]

Lindsay, I checked out that site: Some disturbing yet intriguing images. Alas, I am donating my body to science, so I don't know what parts of my mortal coil will remain to be stuffed after any organs are harvested and medical students dissect whatever tickles their fancy. I may have been designated as a hairshirt because of this, but I don't know. Maybe I'll prove them wrong and have my head stuffed and then permanently stuck on a pike placed in front of the Dick Cheney Federal Building. Yes, there is a Dick Cheney Federal Building, and it's in Casper, Wyoming. How do I know this? Because that's where I live, and I'll tell you it can be quite lonely, if not dangerous, at times when you have the temerity to bash, (i.e, tell the truth about) the local hero. But I manage because there are a few other liberals here to talk to. I think five. :)

[Gary Sugar]

"I can't believe The Humanist just told me to lighten up." (Lindsay)

rofl I knew I was more frivolous than you.

[Gary Sugar]

Anyway, "You play hard and work quite hard, have a strong sense of loyalty and a relaxed but consistent approach to your philosophy."

I don't play hard. I certainly don't work hard. I have no sense of loyalty. I do have a relaxed but consistent approach to my philosophy.

[Njorl]

There's something very wrong with that test. It called me a Haymaker, which might be closest to what I am, but it just doesn't look right.

"You are one of life’s enjoyers, determined to get the most you can out of your brief spell on Earth."

Not quite. I am determined not to "get the most" so much as to have the least taken out of me.

[janet]

It says I'm a handholder. At first this made me grumpy, but thinking about it I have to admit it's kind of true. Let's say a handholder with an ornery streak.

My true answer to the garden question would be "A garden would be nice, as long as someone else takes responsibility for it."

[Brendan]

yesss....Hardhat. I knew if I prayed really hard to Superman I would get what I want for Christmas.

[John Stith]

I too checked out the taxidermy site. I saw some things there I think I could work with. I will need to get some more information though.