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December 08, 2005

Taste the Jolly Boot of Doom, pinkos


Bill O'Reilly steps up for Christmas:

I am not going to let oppressive, totalitarian, anti-Christian forces in this country diminish and denigrate the holiday and the celebration. I am not going to let it happen. I'm gonna use all the power that I have on radio and television to bring horror into the world of people who are trying to do that. And we have succeeded. You know we've succeeded. They are on the run in corporations, in the media, everywhere. They are on the run, because I will put their face and their name on television, and I will talk about them on the radio if they do it. There is no reason on this earth that all of us cannot celebrate a public holiday devoted to generosity, peace, and love together. There is no reason on the earth that we can't do that. So we are going to do it. And anyone who tries to stop us from doing it is gonna face me.

O'Reilly redux: That's right, if I don't see a little generosity, peace, and love from you assholes, I'm going to start bustin' heads.

Hat tip to Rob of Lawyers, Guns and Money.


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Boy or boy would I like to have ole o'Reilly yappin' in my face about his freakin' xmas! Just try Billy-boy, c'mon just try it.

Oh, you're making this up: even in America, it can't get that surreal .... can it?

Thanks, Lindsey. I can't wait to use the phrase "jolly boot of doom" on my pals.


Lindsay's Brooklyn attitude is showing. I love it.

I wonder what will happen if we put Lindsay and O reilley in a room.

Lindsay, you simply must learn to be more crass in your reinterpretations.


I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East.
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus.
They have different religious beliefs.

They believe in Muhammad,
And not in our holiday,
and so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say...

Hey there, mister Muslim!
Merry Fuckin' Christmas!
Put down that book the Koran,
and here's some holiday wishes..
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus' birthday.
So get off your heathen Muslim ass,
And fuckin' celebrate.

YES! all bow to zim!

Loving serenity. It's about damn time!

(I originally posted this at Jesus-General, and thought it was very appropriate for here. Pardon my profanity, but this guy really got me irked this time.)

Christmas is stressful enough as it is, but now that fucking psycho wants to visit HORROR upon people who diminish and denigrate the Xmas holiday? Correct me if I'm mistaken, but isn't the job of bringing horror to people, ANY people, REGARDLESS of the reason, reserved for a goddamn TERRORIST?!? Is there that much diferrence in meaning between the words "terror" and "horror" to allow this asshole to get by with saying such a thing? Let's just change a few words in Bill O'Reilly's statement, and see what we have:

"I am not going to let oppressive, totalitarian, anti-Christian/Muslim forces in this country diminish and denigrate the (Christmas/Ramadan) holiday and the celebration. I am not going to let it happen. I'm gonna use all the power that I have on radio and television/my followers to bring horror into the world of people who are trying to do that."

What would you call this statement? A fucking TERRORIST THREAT, that's what! First he invites terrorists to attack San Francisco, and now this. I know we deal with a lot of satire and hyperbole here, and I enjoy the hell out of it. But this time I'm serious when I ask why the Dept. of Homeland Security hasn't at least talked to this guy. Am I getting carried away? Don't tell me what you think I want to hear, just give me your opinion.

I really *love* that cartoon. Did you do it yourself? Will there be more cartooning at Majikthise?

Why does O'Reilly think that "facing him" would be any big deal?

I would like nothing more for Christmas than an opportunity to face O'Reilly and have him attempt to visit horror on me. I'm not macho, or tough, or aggressive or any of that Vox Day BS. I simply believe that O'Reilly could be reduced to a quivering bowl of jello by someone standing up to him in an environment where he wasn't totally in control. If that doesn't work, I'm not above a boot to the crotch. Then I'd rub felafel on him.

I wish I could take credit for the cartoon. It's actually borrowed from an>Invader Zim Christmas episode.

Damn, here I thought you had gotten Fafblog's Giblets to pose.

You know, it would be easy to believe that Giblets is writing some of O'Reilly's copy.

Nobody dis Giblet. He will not be happy when he finally cought you.

Fafnir interview COndi Rice! Such jolly christmas we have this year.

RICE: First of all, we don't send prisoners off to be tortured, Fafnir. We just transport prisoners to countries where torture happens to be legal and where they happen to end up getting tortured.
FB: Well that explains everything then! It's all just a wacky misunderstanding, like that episode a Three's Company where Jack sends Janet off to Uzbekistan to get boiled alive by the secret police.
RICE: I'd also like to point out that whenever we send a prisoner to a country that routinely tortures prisoners, that country promises us NOT to torture them.
FB: And then they get tortured anyway!
RICE: Yes, they do! It's very strange.
FB: Over and over again, every time! That's gotta be so frustrating.
RICE: Oh it is, it is.

There is no reason on this earth that all of us cannot celebrate a public holiday devoted to generosity, peace, and love together.

apparently, Bill O'Reilly doesn't know what Christmas is.

"We don't torture nobody. We beat the hell out of 'em."

I have this theory that their heads don't explode from the massive cognitive dissonance because they're solid bone.

I think this statement by Rupert Murdoch's puppet on this side of the Pond proves my point. (On the other side, per Tim at Bloggerheads, they're calling for CRIMBOs - ASBOs for Christmas at The Sun. --Yes, they want to make controversial intrusive rulings against anti-social behavior expanded to force people in Merrie England to celebrate Christmas, dammit, BE MERRY OR ELSE!!!

I plan to give only merchandise promoting the War on The War on Christmas™ this season ... I'm a GOD WARRIOR!

Bill O'Reilly is starting to forcefully remind my fiance of his mother on various Christmases (particularly when his parents' divorce was in full swing):

"I'm the only one who cares about Christmas, damn it! I worked hard all day, I work my fingers to the bone, and you ungrateful kids don't even care!"

So O'Reilly's ranting really just makes him want to stare down at his plate and wish Christmas Day was over already so O'Reilly will shut the fuck up. Or pass out, whichever comes first.

Needless to say, he really hates O'Reilly for dredging these lovely Christmas memories up for him. Thanks a lot, Bill.

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