First, the Decider decides on the rug

Nobody has been this preoccupied with his damned rug since the Big Lebowski...

THE PRESIDENT: I'll give you a quick tour before our interview. So, the first thing that a President does, which I didn't realize, was pick a rug. I have no idea about rugs. And so in this job you've got to delegate. The American President is in a position where there's just unbelievable complexities to the job -- Darfur, Iran -- a whole lot of issues. So I delegated the decision about the rug to my wife.

The second thing a President has got to do is have a strategic mind. In order to be successful, in my judgment, as the President, you've got to constantly think strategically. And so I said to her, you pick out the colors, you be the tactical person, but I want it to say "optimistic person." That's all I wanted it to say. Here is the result. Isn't it beautiful?

Q: Yes, it is very beautiful.

THE PRESIDENT: There's a sense of optimism when you come in here. And there's a reason why. You cannot lead people unless you're optimistic about what you're doing. You've got to believe it in your very soul. One of the interesting things about the presidency is people watch me like a hawk. They're looking at my moves. And if I'm going to be wringing my hands and if I'm all worried about the decisions I make are not going to lead to a better tomorrow, they'll figure it out.

And so when you talk to me today, I just want you to know I not only strongly believe in the decisions I make, I'm optimistic that they're going to work -- very optimistic.

These are all Texas paintings. That's West Texas, those are other Texas paintings. At least if you're a Texan, it reflects a way of life and a way of thinking. The interesting thing about Washington is that they want me to change -- they being the -- and I'm not changing, you know.

You can't make decisions if you don't know who you are, and you flip around with the politics. You've got to stay strong in what you believe and optimistic about that you'll get good results.

[And so on]

That's George Washington, the first President, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three -- three or four books about him last year. Isn't that interesting? People say, so what? Well, here's the "so what." You never know what your history is going to be like until long after you're gone. If they're still analyzing the presidency of George Washington -- (laughter.) So Presidents shouldn't worry about the history. You just can't. You do what you think is right, and if you're thinking big enough, that history will eventually prove you right or wrong. But you won't know in the short-term.

[And, on, and on]

Lincoln -- this is the place on the Oval Office wall where the President puts the most -- the best President, and I put Lincoln here, and I don't think there's any question -- now, people will have their -- but I think he was the most influential President ever. And the reason why is because that in the midst of a difficult presidency, needless to say -- the Civil War, thousands of people dying, with Americans killing Americans -- he had a vision of a United States. It's conceivable this country would have ended up being two countries had he not had a clear vision, even though all around him was seemingly falling apart. He was a great President.

[AND ON, AND ON, AND ON...]

All this, and much, much more before the reporter got a chance to ask his first question.

You vile sinners who are familiar with the evils of drugs, what does this kind of talk remind you of?

Should we start taking bets on the president's favorite alkaloid?

[Via Korman and DeLong]

Comments

[Chris Clarke]

Hey! Enough with mocking the president for being on drugs. What are you, some kind of uncivil Heather or something?

[sarah irene]

You know, I've always wondered what was so interesting about George Washington, why people dig him so much. Now I know ...

[John]

I especially like how Our Leader took the time to inform the reporter that George Washington was our first president. Do you think he does that just to prove to people that he's not as dumb as most people think he is?

It's such a comfort knowing that the most powerful man in the world is an obsessive messianic dry-drunk dumbass. Do you think he might listen to former Oval Office occupant Gerald Ford if Ford suggested to him that he might be more comfortable at his wife's clinic than the White House?

NAAAHHH!

Jesus Christ could walk into the West Wing and tell Bush to stop everything he's doing but he still wouldn't listen. "You were always too soft on sinners," is what Bush would tell Him.

[norbizness]

Oh no! The ghost of Rick James is inhabiting our normally coherent President! Spectral cocaine is a hell of a drug!

[SamChevre]

I can see lots of possibilities.

All of them are stimulants.

(That's a very speedfreaky conversation.)

[Ginger Yellow]

The question is, does it tie the room together? The first president is not the issue here, John.

[Rasselas]

To be scrupulously fair, a lot of people of all political religions babble when nervous. Why the POTUS should be nervous when showing a visitor the White House decorations is a matter for the experts, though.

[aeroman]

I can't get over the idea of a President who doesn't ever worry that his decisions will have bad consequences. It's hard to imagine anything more terrifying.

[mudkitty]

When Bush said the highlight of his presidency was the day he caught a big fish, believe him. Just this once, believe him.

[Rev Dave]

Like many of those who comprise his base constituency, lil' prince pretzelbreath's most likely into crystal meth. The moron's probably alientaed South Americans to the point that he can no longer get good cocaine. We could ask Jenna, I'll bet she knows.

[Frederick]

The interesting thing about him is that I read three -- three or four books about him last year.

Oh, bullshit. Name them, George. And coloring books don't count.