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May 07, 2006

Sunday Sermonette: Super-secret government study says no evidence of aliens


u.f.o, originally uploaded by flutterbycharlie.

Why weren't we told about the glaring absence of evidence for aliens:

A confidential Ministry of Defence report on Unidentified Flying Objects has concluded that there is no proof of alien life forms.
In spite of the secrecy surrounding the UFO study, it seems citizens of planet Earth have little to worry about.
The report, which was completed in 2000 and stamped "Secret: UK Eyes Only", has been made public for the first time. [BBC]
Shocking, I know. No evidence of aliens, you heard it here first.

Other exciting discoveries you may not have anticipated: Abstinence pledges often fail, college drinking is enduringly popular, and even strapping 21-year-old males can't get it up every single time.

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KGB says:::
http://english.pravda.ru/society/anomal/22-12-2005/9427-ufo-0
KGB's secret UFO files finally made public
CIA and KGB were fighting for alien’s dead body
http://english.pravda.ru/society/anomal/04-06-2004/5811-ufo-0

Most likely this was all a cover for the high energy ram jet engine technology brought out of Germany after WW2. Mach
2.5 ram jet engine with aluminum
stamped and numbered parts. The assembly was like a jigsaw puzzel
It is still a hush hush today
with the latest flying a mach 9.4
rtg. ( smile sunday )

Ahhh, but as we know, evidence of absence is not absence of evidence.

No, wait.

Absence of aliens is not evidence of Evelyn.

No, wait.

IT'S A COOKBOOK! IT'S A COOKBOOK!!!!

No, wait...

I was just about to whack off to Macy's bra ads until I stupidly clicked that erectile-dysfunction link to Pandagon. Talk about a bone-killer. Thanks a lot, Lindsay! If I become impotent I'm suing you! BTW, do you have any Viagra samples that Pfizer might have given you for writing copy? I might be willing to drop any potential lawsuit if you send me a few. Thx.

What, and get yourself knocked up again?

Should have seen that one coming a mile away. LOL. (Seriously. I laughed out loud. Some people are LOL whores, giving it up at the drop of a cartoon anvil. But not me. I'm no LOL whore. Just a whore. But you know that.)

Of course that's what they want us to think. They don't want to talk to us, because we're made out of meat.


Don't you mean LOL slut?... at least if you're a whore, you're getting paid to do it so often, not that I'm against free-LOL, if done responsibly. Make LOL, not WAR, as they say.

Ok, I need to get out more.

Does anyone know how much this '4 year study' with its '400-page report' cost? And are they hiring? Can I telecommute on their next big waste of money... I mean important scientific project?

I bet it wasn't free. Maybe if we all pray real hard, we will get better governments. Oh wait, its not TOP SECRET, that doesn't work.

i think its awesome.... its probly real. nice*

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