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July 16, 2006

Signs of the impending apocalypse: Hilton, Mr. T, and Atlas Shrugs

Sure signs that we are living in the End Times:

Name the Fourth Horseman.


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I shoulda known better than to click on the Paris Hilton link -- there was a picture of her trying to look, I guess, sexy.

What do people see in Paris Hilton? I don't get it ...

Jerry Falwell, assigned to tote Pamela's camera bags, microphones, make-up bag, etc., toodling around South Lebanon -

Next, Jeff Goldstein denounces insecurity-fed violent sexual fantasies.

The fourth horseman must be my posting about horserace politics, no pun intended.

Two words:
Pigoon Chops

Ned Block called my friend Ronnie a "good rapper" recently. Does Ned Block assessing rhymesmanship count?

Tom Delay running and winning his old seat back? (Though apparently he'd just resign on day one so Perry could appoint someone, if he's forced to go through with it.)

The Fourth Horseman: Joe Lieberman.

Oh, wait. He's only a horse's ass.

Wow. If Paris Hilton pledged that publicly, I guess that's that then. No way somebody like Paris Hilton is risking the public scorn she'd face for breaking a vow of chastity.

Cubs win World Series.

Saddam hussein to star in an autobiographical musical in the west end?

no wait, Ken Lay snuff porn, it's ken lay snuff porn isn't it!?

Uh oh. Likening KL to MLK might have ushered in the End Times.

Not that the folks responsible will care. They'v all got corporate box seats for Armageddon, paid for with Lucifer's Black AmEx card.

#3 -- I only recently discovered Pamela through her ridiculous video posts. She's like a parody of a conservative, or a teenager who's a long ways from growing up. Her Israel excursion will be precious.

Angelina Jolie and her dad, John Voight, kiss and make up.

Hey! Mr. T. isn't a horseman! Mr. T. has a heart of gold. Maybe Mr. T. looks scary and different to you, but can't we learn something from that? Like maybe how we shouldn't judge a book by its cover? And also, drugs are bad and reading is fundamental. Stay in school.

Maybe you see Clubber Lang when you look at Mr. T., but I see Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus. He's tough, but tender. And also, you have to trick him to get him aboard an airplane, which means he's also vulnerable. I don't know any freaky ontological category that could possibly contain Pamela from Atlas Shrugged, Paris Hilton and Mr. T., so I think we have a major misfile.

I find it somewhat amusing to see that the 3 most popular outgoing links at the moment are the three in this post, exactly in the order you posted them...

STOCKTON, California (AP) -- Former "Saturday Night Live" cast member Rob Schneider was taken to a Northern California hospital after collapsing from food poisoning and heat exhaustion during the filming of an upcoming movie.........
Schneider, who recently starred in "The Benchwarmers" and "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo," is directing the new movie in which he plays Big Stan, a con man locked up on fraud charges who learns kung fu to defend himself against other inmates.

Nuff said!? The end is near.........!!

BTW -- what's the deal with the quotation about Jews being canaries in the mineshaft?

Actually, if you look at the history of, e.g., Nazi Germany, the proverbial canaries in the mineshaft are the homosexuals ... "they" usually come for the gays before they come for the Jews (cf. Niemoller).

Angelina Jolie and her dad, John Voight, kiss and make up.

Angelina Jolie and her dad, John Voight, tongue-kiss and make up.

DAS, Niemöller didn't mention gays; he only mentioned communists, socialists, and unions.

The Onion is selling to Viacom.

The Fourth is this:

The General is kitten-blogging

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