Vladimir Putin on robots, sex, and Cthulhu

Cthulhu, originally uploaded by origamiwolf.

Vladimir Putin took time out of his busy schedule to discuss the issues the Russian people really care about--robots, sex, and Cthulhu.

Putin doesn't remember the first time he had sex, he believes that robots will defend Russia's borders, and he encourages kids to steer clear of Cthulhu...

Asked about the possible awakening of the giant mythical octopus Cthulhu, the fourth-most popular question among the more than 150,000 sent to Putin, he said that he believed something more serious was behind the question. Cthulhu was invented by novelist H.P. Lovecraft and was said to be sleeping beneath the Pacific Ocean.

Putin said he viewed mysterious forces with suspicion and advised those who took them seriously to read the Bible, Koran or other religious books.

Comments

[Jim S.]

Did he say exactly what about these religious texts would help young people take mysterious forces less seriously?

[R. Mildred]

Cthulhu was invented by novelist H.P. Lovecraft and was said to be sleeping beneath the Pacific Ocean.

Okay grammar nazis, please explain to my poor little brain how that should have been written so that it read as "Cthulhu, created by author H.P. Lovecraft, was said to be sleeping beneath the Pacific Oceans" and NOT, "H.P. Lovecraft, creator of Cthulhu, was said to be sleeping beneath the Pacific Ocean".

Because the second one is how I read that original sentence first time through.

Or maybe my brain is just going slow right now.

[Lindsay Beyerstein]

Okay, I'm going to really rile up the grammarians and the philosophers here. I think the sentence is grammatically correct, but philosophically suspect.

The claim that Cthulhu slumbers beneath the Pacific Ocean is based on the story of Cthulhu, whereas the date the creation of the character refers to the real world. So, there's something odd about conjoining these two statements in a single sentence. Although, arguably the sentence demonstrates poor usage because it is ambiguous about whether anyone in the real world says that Cthulhu slumbers under the Pacific, or whether it's just within the story that Cthulhu is said to be slumbering there.

[Alon Levy]

I'm not sure about the philosophical implications of that sentence - in my defense, I know next to nothing about analytic philosophy - but Lindsay's right: it's grammatical. Cthulhu was invented by novelist H.P. Lovecraft and was said to be sleeping beneath the Pacific Ocean can be parsed as [Cthulhu] [was invented by novelist H. P. Lovecrat] [and] [was said to be sleeping beneath the Pacific Ocean] (excuse the horrible notation - I can't do tree structures in a comment box). In other words, we have a compound verb phrase, so "was said to be..." clearly refers to Cthulhu.

[burritoboy]

Of course Putin wants people to stay away from Cthulhu!

Putin's rise to power was partially fueled by his many secret sacrifices of virgin baby seals and top-grade vodka to the One Beneath the Waves.

Putin merely hopes to confuse other Russians and keep this secret source of his power beholden to him alone!

Little does he know that, soon, very soon, my communications with Hastur will bear fruit and enable me to exact my terrible vengeance upon him!

[Tom Hilton]

The claim that Cthulhu slumbers beneath the Pacific Ocean is based on the story of Cthulhu, whereas the date the creation of the character refers to the real world. So, there's something odd about conjoining these two statements in a single sentence.

The whole damn thing is odd. Who was behind what must have been a concerted effort to submit a question about Cthulhu? Why would Putin respond as if it were something non-fictitious? And what's with the robots defending the borders? Is he really as nutty as he sounds?

Also, Hastur is such a poseur. My money is on Nyarlathotep.

[Joseph]

He doesn't remember the first time he had sex! Now I know he isn't human, geez how could you forget something like that.

[PZ Myers]

Put it together. He doesn't remember when he first had sex, and he's telling children to avoid Cthulhu. Ask yourself why he has this aversion to Cthulhu.

[Lindsay Beyerstein]

Heh.

[John Lucid]

I can't remember the first time I had sex, but I do remember the first time I had sex with a partner.

[John Lucid]

BTW, is posting anything about Cthulhu like chumming the waters for PZ Meyers?

We're going to need a bigger blog.

[Karl the Grouchy Medievalist]

Cthulhu was invented by novelist H.P. Lovecraft and was said to be sleeping beneath the Pacific Ocean.

Still, it's a bad sentence. "was said" by whom? (the mad Arab?) Or what?

[Diamond Jim]

At http://www.tonmo.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6735 I found this in the Cthulhu forum (yes, TONMO, The Octopus News Magazine Online, has a Cthulhu forum--who'da thunk?):

"Actually, Cthulhu mythos and human-killing robots is quite popular topics in russian part of livejournal.com, so there was a flashmob to vote for these questions :)"

But at least Putin has a position on Cthulhu, unlike some other world leaders one could name. (Does this make him shrill?)

Oh, and of course the sentence should read "Cthulhu was 'invented' by novelist H.P. Lovecraft . . . ." Ia! Ia!

[burritoboy]

"But at least Putin has a position on Cthulhu, unlike some other world leaders one could name."

This would make him SEEM to be a far-sighted leader, taking a correct position in the eons-old war between the Elder Gods and the Great Old Ones.

Fortunately,we know his TRUE disposition, for he himself is the leader of cult of R'lyeh! Soon, Putin's treachery towards humanity will be revealed and the evil forces he has unleashed will be driven back into the interdimensional hells from whence they came!

By the way, has anyone heard whether Berlusconi has been eaten yet by his patron Shub-Niggurath yet for his abysmal failure against that Miskatonic Institute of Technology educated fiend Prodi?