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July 18, 2009

"We completely understand the public's concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population"

Defense contractors Robotic Technologies, Inc. and Cyclone Power Technologies, Inc. would like to address multiple media reports that they are using government money to invent a robot that feeds on the corpses of the slain enemies of the United States of America:

“We completely understand the public’s concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission,” stated Harry Schoell, Cyclone’s CEO. “We are focused on demonstrating that our engines can create usable, green power from plentiful, renewable plant matter. The commercial applications alone for this earth-friendly energy solution are enormous.” (emphasis in the original)

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Comments

"Robotic Technologies: We Put The Green In Soylent Green!"

I'm not sure vegetarian, earth-friendly warbots are going to send the appropriate message to terrorists.

This sort of reminds me of Thomas Edison and George Westinghouse. The big fight in the late 19th century was whether cities would provide AC or DC current... so Edison used to go around electrocuting bunnies and puppies with DC to "prove" that AC was safer... and invented the electric chair in the process.

Garbage eating machines, like AC current, has its advantages, but why do we need such ghoulish "pilot projects"?

Commercial applications.... Yes, because putting this technology in the hands of corporations ENSURES it will never be abused. I feel warm and fuzzy about our future.

richmx2: you got the AC and DC reversed.

Isn't it strange that the name of the company is "Cyclone". Why, a bit of linguistic shift (or a reorg) and you just drop that second "c"...

This is the final proof that we're all just characters in a B-grade novel. In retrospect, I'd say that reality ended just before the millenium turned.

(actually, it may be worse. This may be like that dialog in Godel, Escher, Bach, where you have to figure out where the dialog really ends because he adds increasingly implausible filler at the end. That way, when you're reading it, you can't derive comfort from knowing the denouement is close.)

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